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[personal profile] shadowed_voice
Title: Symbiosis
Fandom: Team Fortress 2
Rating: R
Warnings: ...uh. Orgy? Also CAPSLOCK GALORE, oh Soldier.
Word Count: 3,218
Pairings or characters involved: All nine classes.
Notes: There was a request at TF2chan for orgies, and the idea of a Soldier team building exercise was mentioned. My mind took off running with it.

When Soldier called for a team meeting in the base's communal showers, the team had grumbled and complained, but obeyed. It wasn't the first time Soldier had gotten it in his head to do "team building exercises," and the meeting grounds had included a number of locations all over the base.

Despite each member's disgruntled response, they knew better than to resist. The last time Soldier had called a meeting in the showers, anyone who hadn't shown up was stripped and dragged there against their will. It was an embarrassment that none of them wanted to experience or relive, whichever the case may have been.

And so the night found them, standing around in the shower room clad in nothing but towels. At least, clad only in towels and a few instances of headwear. Soldier's helmet had not been removed and would likely remain so until right before he entered a shower's stream of water, as he always washed it with himself. Spy still wore his signature balaclava and Pyro wore his gas mask; neither of them were inclined to take off their respective facial coverings unless they were alone. Everyone was looking at Soldier with varying degrees of malice, discontent, or morbid curiosity...the last time Soldier had tried to do his team building exercises in the shower, Sniper had tried to drown Scout by pushing his face into the running shower head, Demoman had drunkenly attempted to slide across the shower floor as if it was a Slip 'n Slide, and in the end, a soap war had erupted.

Soldier was determined that this time, everyone would be more focused on the task at hand.

Before giving the team their initial instructions, however, he turned a few nearby shower heads on. The water slowly warmed, soon beginning to fill the room with steam.

"ALL RIGHT, MAGGOTS!" he called, "MARCH OVER HERE AND ARRANGE YOURSELVES IN A CIRCLE!"

The team moved toward where Soldier was standing, near the running shower heads. They continued to grouse, eventually forming a large shape mildly comparable to a circle.

Soldier was not impressed. "YOU CALL THAT A CIRCLE? THAT IS NOT A CIRCLE! MY GRANDMOTHER COULD MAKE A BETTER CIRCLE THAN THIS, AND SHE'S OLD! AND ALSO DEAD! SHE DIED BECAUSE MAGGOTS LIKE YOU COULDN'T TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CIRCLES AND GOATS! NOW PULL IN, YOU SORRY SACKS OF SCUM, AND SHOW ME A REAL CIRCLE. I WANT TO SEE YOU SHOULDER TO SHOULDER!"

They did as they were told, though a few of them were starting to show signs of slight discomfort at the close proximity. It wasn't that they never had to deal with each other up close, far from it, but no one was certain where Soldier was going with this. That alone was more than enough reason to be anxious.

Scout fidgeted, glancing to both sides. On his right, Sniper caught his gaze and narrowed his eyes in warning; Heavy was oblivious on the left. Scout took the opportunity to look around the rest of the circle. Medic stood beyond Heavy's massive frame, looking as if this whole ordeal existed only to irritate him. Next was Soldier, standing at attention and inspecting the quality of their circle. Engineer was beside Soldier, looking altogether uncomfortable. Demoman seemed as if it was taking all of his willpower just to remain awake and standing, Pyro wrung his hands and nervously looked around the entire room, and Spy...Scout really couldn't tell what Spy was thinking. He was standing there, apparently bored out of his mind and, Scout assumed, probably craving a cigarette.

Soldier's assessment of the group's positioning ended suddenly and loudly. "YOU'VE DONE ME PROUD, BOYS."

Spy sighed heavily. "...so you zhink our performance as a team will improve simply because we were able to stand and make a geometric shape while nearly naked? I suppose I must applaud your creativity, 'owever little sense it makes."

"NEGATIVE, PRIVATE! WE'RE NOT DONE HERE YET!" If Soldier noticed the condescending tone in Spy's voice, he didn't show it. "ALL OF YOU, DISMISS YOUR TOWELS." Without a moment's hesitation, Soldier pulled the towel from his waist and tossed it to the ground.

That command got a reaction...just not the one Soldier wanted.

"Wot th' bloody 'ell is gettin' rid 'a our towels gonna do?" Sniper looked at Soldier in disbelief.

Soldier growled in reply. "DO NOT LOOK AT ME! I DID NOT ASK YOU A QUESTION! YOU WERE GIVEN AN ORDER, AND I EXPECT YOU TO FOLLOW IT! NOW DISMISS THAT TOWEL, PRIVATE, BEFORE I DO IT FOR YOU!"

As if to prove his point, Soldier reached over to Engineer and grabbed his towel, yanking it off in a fluid motion. Engineer yelped a bit at the unexpected action, staring at Soldier with wide eyes. His expression changed to something more akin to embarrassment as he looked down to the floor and muttered, "Ah coulda taken that off mahself, ya know..."

"YOU HAVE BEEN SAVED THE TROUBLE."

One by one, the towels were all removed and tossed haphazardly about the floor. The team was getting more and more nervous about exactly where this exercise was heading. And while they were all coming up with rather wild theories given Soldier's track record, no one could have possibly expected the next order to come out of Soldier's mouth.

"NOW, YOU WILL ALL GRAB THE DICK OF THE MAN TO YOUR RIGHT."

There was a long moment of silence as the team stared at Soldier in something far deeper than shock.

Soldier did not appreciate the group's reaction. "DID YOU FORGET HOW TO FOLLOW ORDE---OH. OH, I UNDERSTAND." Soldier nodded almost sagely, and then punched Medic in the shoulder, earning a hiss of pain and a nasty glare. "GOOD THINKING, TEAM. SPY-CHECK HIM FIRST, THEN GRAB HIS DICK."

Medic, only by virtue of just having been punched, found his voice. "Herr Soldier, you...you cannot seriously expect us to..." He couldn't finish, and instead looked to his stunned teammates in a silent plea for help.

"NONSENSE, FRITZ. I EXPECT MY TEAM TO PERFORM LIKE A WELL-OILED MACHINE, AND LATELY, WE HAVE NOT BEEN ONE. OUR MACHINE HAS BEEN BLOWN TO BITS, PISSED ON, AND SENT TO THE GLUE FACTORY. BUT WE'RE GOING TO FIX IT." He scanned the room, sneering at his teammates. "WE ARE GOING TO WORK, AS A TEAM, TO BRING EVERY MAN IN THIS ROOM TO ORGASM."

The team was still looking at him incredulously. Soldier growled, and with the intent of getting on with it, wet his hand in the stream of water and unceremoniously grabbed Medic, earning a gasp.

Scout's voice suddenly returned to him. "Man, you're fuckin' crazy if you think I'm touchin' another guy's junk! Dis is GAY wit' a capital G!"

"Dis is...odd training." Heavy didn't sound disgusted at the idea of it, so much as extremely confused.

"Ach, yer all bloody princesses, the lot of ye! There's nae anythin' 'gay' aboot it; just a boonch 'a men with nae a lass in sight helpin' their mates out!" To show what pansies he thought they were all being, Demoman spat in his hand and palmed Engineer's cock. Engineer inhaled sharply, then groaned.

"LET'S MOVE, MAGGOTS. THIS IS A TEAM ACTIVITY, AND PARTICIPATION IS MANDATORY!"

Pyro cautiously followed Demoman's lead, and was rewarded with an encouraging growl from him.

"Tha's the way, lad, tha's the way..."

"KEEP MOVING, MEN!"

Heavy shrugged and reached for Scout, who jumped backwards nearly five feet. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, man! What da fuck do ya think you're doin'? I ain't lettin' none of you fags near me!"

Heavy looked at Scout as one would a much younger child. "Is team time. Want team to be better, so will try dis, see if it work." He motioned for Scout to come back to the circle. "Besides, will feel good. Is good way to relieve stress for tiny Scout."

Scout didn't look convinced, and made no move to rejoin the rest of the team. "Fuck dat, man! I'm outta here."

He started to walk away, but stopped as Spy snickered. Scout turned around and glared at him. "What's your problem?"

"Oh, nozhing, nozhing at all." Spy smiled innocently. "I was just zhinking zhat your tactics for dealing wizh your problems off zhe battlefield are remarkably similar to 'ow you deal with zhem on it...by running away. Zhat is what you are doing, is it not?"

"I don't run away from nothin', you got dat?" Scout's glare turned into a snarl as he stomped back to his place in the circle.

"Oh, pardon me, lapin, my mistake." Spy's smile suddenly seemed much more devilish.

Scout took a deep breath. He wasn't a fag, he was just doing this because Soldier was insane and thought that jerking another guy off would improve their teamwork, and because Spy was being an ass and thought he couldn't handle it.

Okay, so he really didn't give a fuck about what Soldier thought, Scout just wanted to show Spy that he wasn't afraid of anything, no matter how gay it was.

There were no more complaints, at least not voiced ones, and soon every man had a moist hand on his cock, and their own hand on those of their teammates.

"OUTSTANDING." Soldier grinned broadly. "NOW, DON'T THINK THAT JUST BECAUSE YOU'VE GOT HIM IN A COCKLOCK, HE'S AT YOUR MERCY. ALL OF YOU WILL BE USING YOUR OTHER HAND TO ASSIST THE MAN ON YOUR LEFT, SO IF ANYONE TRIES ANY FUNNY BUSINESS, YOU WILL BE REPRIMANDED ACCORDINGLY. YOUR HANDS ARE NOT TO TOUCH YOURSELVES AT ANY POINT DURING THIS EXERCISE! YOU WILL BE COMPLETELY DEPENDENT ON YOUR TEAMMATES!" Once again, Soldier performed the action first in demonstration, reaching beneath Demoman's hand to massage Engineer's balls, to which the Texan let out a quiet moan, a furious blush coloring his face.

The men hesitantly followed suit, each moving their other hand to a secondary position...balls, ass, chest, whatever they thought would be helpful based on their own experiences and preferences.

"NOW, THIS IS THE IMPORTANT PART, MEN." Soldier looked around the circle, capturing the attention of the team. "WHEN ON THE BATTLEFIELD, YOU DEPEND ON YOUR TEAMMATES, AND THEY WILL DO WHATEVER THEY THINK IS BEST TO ASSIST YOU, EVEN IF THEY DO NOT FULLY UNDERSTAND YOUR CURRENT SITUATION."

The team had to admit that this was true. They understood well enough that they were teammates and that even if they didn't always like each other, it was in their best interest to help one another on the battlefield. And they did assist each other, usually. However sometimes, what one person thought was the best course of action to help another didn't always turn out like they'd hoped.

Soldier noted the comprehension on the team's faces, and continued. "THEREFORE, YOU MUST BE ABLE TO GIVE COMMANDS AS CIRCUMSTANCES REQUIRE. AND SO, PRIVATES, YOU WILL PRACTICE BY GIVING ORDERS TO THE MEN ON EITHER SIDE OF YOU. TELL THEM WHAT TO DO, TELL THEM WHERE TO TOUCH, TELL THEM EXACTLY WHAT STRATEGY WORKS BEST FOR YOU. IF YOU CAN DO THIS, THEN THE OUTCOME WILL UNDOUBTEDLY BE VICTORY. AND IF FIGHTING IS SURE TO RESULT IN VICTORY, THEN YOU MUST FIGHT!"

Things were quiet and awkward at first. Most of the men were tentative in their touches, retreating slightly whenever the teammates they were in contact with made any sort of overly enthusiastic gesture or sound, and too anxious to give those touching them much in the way of commands.

A few of the men, however, were not so shy in their advances. Spy was practically molesting Sniper and Pyro, and Sniper was returning as good as he got. Demoman also seemed fairly impassioned, and Pyro was a nearly a writhing mess between the two of them, but seemed to be trying to focus on reciprocating the touches.

As time went on, the heat of building pleasure began outweighing their embarrassment and discomfort, and commands were being issued more often. Admittedly, many of these commands amounted to little more than "Faster!" or gasps and moans that were accompanied by desperate movements and pleading glances.

Spy and Sniper were barely paying attention to Scout and Pyro anymore, far too busy hungrily kissing one another to even bother with orders or to pay much attention where their hands wandered. However, Spy seemed to be doing a better job of attending to Pyro than Sniper was to Scout.

Heavy redoubled his efforts on Scout to make up for Sniper's lack of it, and the younger man seemed to be unconsciously drawing nearer, toward his touch. Despite his focus on Scout, Heavy periodically turned back toward Medic to gauge his reaction to certain touches. He also listened for any commands from the doctor; considering his dependence on those orders while they were engaged in battle, he was more than used to it. Medic fell into the role easily, surprised and yet not at how easily his trust in Heavy on the battlefield translated to trust in such a vulnerable position.

Demoman's enthusiasm hadn't waned on either side, although he didn't seem to be aware that Spy was less focused on Pyro than he had been. Pyro hadn't noticed either; Demoman's hand on him, punctuated by Spy's less frequent touches, was more than enough drive his body wild.

On the opposite side of Demoman, Engineer was squirming. His face and body were heated and reddened, although it was difficult to tell whether it was merely embarrassment, arousal, or a combination of both. It was a battle for him to concentrate on responding in kind to Demoman and Solider. Both men were rather vocal, and Engineer was doing the best he could to acknowledge every demand.

Soldier, especially, had little trouble barking out commands to Engineer and Medic. Naturally, he was more than accustomed to ordering his troops around, and this exercise was no different. At the same time, he listened closely for directions from those beside him, watching the men beyond them as well. After all, strategy depended not only on the orders being followed, but that they were followed by the right person. Too many men in one pot made spoiled soup, or however that saying went.

Eventually, much to Soldier's pride, the exercise's objective was reached. There were no instances of simultaneous climaxes, although that was unsurprising...Soldier was well aware that they were lacking in the discipline and teamwork for a display of that sort. However, what mattered was that everyone did get there, dropping to the floor in exhaustion afterwards. Some were drowsily leaning against others; all of them were sated and spent.

Soldier still had the energy to yell, though there was rarely a time that he didn't. "EXCELLENT WORK, MEN."

They had to admit, they did get along better after the exercise. There was a protectiveness, a possessiveness of their teammates that wasn't there before, and the practical applications of the exercise did improve the team's dynamic on the battlefield. Certain members continued to rub each other the wrong way out of battle and were ready to kill one another a few days later, but...there was always the lingering knowledge that they could rub each other the right way, if given the chance.

And so, that particular team building exercise became a weekly routine.

...although Soldier eventually had to edit the guidelines just to make sure the lineup order changed from week to week. Spy and Sniper really needed to stop hogging each others' attention.




Bonus ending/extra scene #1 aka I am far too easily amused:

"ALL RIGHT, MEN, I WANT NO LIP FROM YOU ABOUT THIS EXERCISE. IT HAS BEEN PROVEN TO BE A RELIABLE WAY TO IMPROVE MORALE AND TEAM DYNAMICS." Soldier stared from under his helmet at his audience, as if gauging their reactions. Satisfied with the silence, which clearly signified complete agreement and willingness, he grinned. "NOW, CHARGE!"

No one moved, and Soldier snarled at them. "WHEN I GIVE YOU AN ORDER, I EXPECT YOU TO FOLLOW IT. NOW, I AM GOING TO TURN AROUND AND COUNT TO THREE, AND WHEN I TURN BACK, I EXPECT TO SEE A CHANGE IN POSITION!" He did as he said, and began to count loudly and purposefully.

"ONE."

There was still no movement.

"TWO."

The BLU Medic's head fell off the fence.

"THREE!" Turning around, Soldier stared at it for a moment. He then watched as the BLU Spy's head tumbled down, landing with a plop next to the Medic's.

Soldier grinned. "EXCELLENT INTIATIVE, PRIVATES."



Bonus ending/extra scene #2 aka I can't let this idea go, apparently:

"What are dey even doin' ovah dere? I mean, not like I care or nuthin', but it's just fuckin' weird, yanno?" The BLU Scout stared at RED's base. Every Saturday night like clockwork, the RED team was nowhere to be found. It used to be that he and his RED counterpart would egg each other on some way, maybe whack a baseball back and forth trying to hit each other. Hell, at least Scout used to be able to catch glimpses of the REDs moving about the base, but now...

He wanted to know what was going on over there. Nothing had changed during their usual weekday battles; the two teams still fought, although RED seemed to have the upper hand as of late. What were they doing in there? Were they plotting something, or maybe doing some sort of training? That might explain why they'd been winning more lately...

"Don' worry too much about it, son. Spah said he'd go over an' check it out, so we'll find out if it's anything we need ta worry about soon enough." Engineer didn't seem too concerned. He smiled at Scout reassuringly from his seat, before taking a long drink of his beer.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, Hardhat." Scout scoffed, taking one more look at the opposing base. "I'm goin' back in."

"Suit yerself."

Engineer continued to enjoy the cool evening, basking in nature's nighttime symphony.

At least, until Spy came slinking back from the RED compound, uncloaking just outside the BLU base and looking grim.

"Spah? What's goin' on? Ya all right?" Engineer stood and walked to meet the other man, concern evident in his voice.

"I am fine, Labourer. 'owever, we should call zhe entire team togezher for a meeting." Spy took out his disguise case, withdrawing a cigarette and quickly lighting it. "I discovered exactly what zhe REDs 'ave been spending zheir evenings doing...a special training, of sorts, and I fear it may be giving zhem an advantage. If we want to level zhe field, so to speak, it is imperative zhat we begin training of our own."

"That bad, huh? All right, I'll round 'em up. Where d'ya want everyone ta gather?"

"Tell zhem we will meet in zhe showers, and make sure everyone is properly attired. Zhat means no clozhing, just zheir towels."

Engineer gaped at him. "Ya...what in tarnation were they doin' over there?"

"I will be more zhan happy to explain as soon as everyone is present. Now 'urry, we are wasting time."

The Texan didn't look convinced, but he hustled into BLU's compound to pass the news on to his teammates. He had to admit, if nothing else, he was mighty curious.

Spy took a long drag of his cigarette, and then smirked. This would certainly prove to be an interesting evening...
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